Nothing to do

I have nothing to do… So what do I do? I try playing games, but they don’t seem as appealing to me as before… I try sleeping, but that only takes up so much time… So I look up gun videos and all seems right as rain in those few moments… >.> Strange isn’t it.

Except now I am simply depressed… I didn’t feel this depressed since middle school or whatever when I was just depressed for no fucking reason. Oh, and I also had some rum to help me sleep in a bit… It seems to be kicking in now, but I want to finish this post. NO, I am not drinking every night, and I am not going to become an alcoholic.

It seems that having nothing to do just triggers something inside of me that gets me so depressed. Though probably of what happened last week… I cannot believe that it has only been a week… It seems like an eternity.

My habits…. are unhealthy probably, I’ve been running everyday and etc. but the habit i talk about is probably unhealthy for my getting over this damned mess. I hope later I can just overcome the habit or sublimate it into something else.

It’s interesting to note that today, of all days, I feel extremely depressed, not last week, not the days following that, but today. Maybe its just cause I have nothing to do… And if that’s the case, then what the fuck am I going to do for the next three weeks until school ends? What the fuck am I going to do for the rest of the summer? I fucking wish for school to start so that I can have something to do and distract myself with…

Fuck…